This post is going to be a bit more meaningful and sad. I would say I'm sorry but honestly, I think it will be nice to spill all my thoughts on this subject as I don't really open up to anyone about this. You're lucky if I do.
I don't really like talking about this to my parents as they were also affected and I don't want to make them upset by bringing it back up.
So let's actually talk about what has happened.
Today is the one year anniversary of my uncle. He had a sudden death, although, sudden is an understatement.
This time last year I was so excited for prom that I didn't really think of anything else. Except for all the exams obviously. You never expect something like this. He was meant to see me at prom. But obviously didn't, this is what makes me most sad.
However last year it would've been a Wednesday. Which used to be the day (along with Saturday) that my cousins came round and I saw my uncle. So technically this time last year I was supposed to see him.
I had to stay after school for maths on this day. Well, I wanted to just because I like maths and the teacher. All we did was have a laugh and did some exam preparation for an hour. Everything was dandy. A bunch of LOLs and Becky complainig about trigonometry or Pythagoras, I don't really remember what it was at the time. But then one of the teachers came in and said that my mum was at reception destraught thinking that my mum didn't know where I was or something. Well it definitely wasn't the case. My mum took me outside to the car where my sister and her boyfriends brother were (he was driving) and wouldn't tell me anything until I got home.
Obviously the ride home was terrifying. I had no idea. At first I thought maybe something had happened to my momma. Boy was I wrong.
When my mum told me, I think I just went into shock as I just said 'Oh..'. Then went upstairs and was devastated.
Honestly it didn't really sink in until a couple of weeks ago. In my head it was just like he was on holiday or back with someone he was seeing. I remember at one time someone who had the same car pulled up outside my house and I got excited like it was just all a dream.
Obviously I knew, but it was just wishful thinking and a distraction.
Anyway. I was really close to Peter. He lived with us for a couple years so obviously I was used to him being here. He was such a laugh, when he wasn't complaining - which he did quite a bit actually. And smoke. He was the worst smoker I've ever met. A 'chain smoker'. You could always tell when he had been just because the smell would linger a hell of a lot. And I guess I miss it.
For a while everything has just linked to him. I was at my local pub watching a singer and one of the songs just cracked me. Just because when I heard it, I remember him singing/shouting it at the top of his voice in our kitchen, drunk. I will always remember moments like that. And all the times he has helped me in situations. They all mean so much to me and I wish I could just give him a hug. All I can advise is that you don't take anyone for granted. Personally I like to thing I don't do this, however if you haven't today, tell your parents, siblings, cousins, distant relatives or friends that you love them. As they may not be there forever.
In memory of Peter, we have made a rockery in our garden. It looks amazing to be honest. My dad got some big stone thingys and made a little space. I planted some flowers and included some solor panel lights. It looks quite beautiful. I will add the photo tomorrow so be sure to check this post again. But we wanted this rockery to be completed for today because of obvious reasons. And luckily we did it, ready for the BBQ we had. Samantha and Lee came round along with my two cousins. It was really nice. And it was a lovely way to finish the day off. So thank you, if any of you are reading this.
I don't really know what else to say other than that I really miss you Peter, and wish I could've had one last hug. Hope your having a good time up there.
That's it for this post I think. When adding some photos tommorrow, I may add something else but that is highly unlikely as I'm just too lazy. Obviously this is classed as this weeks post so I hope you all have a smashing week and I'll hopefully have a happier post for you next Sunday. I love you all.
Adios amigos!xo
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