So todays post is going to be like the old posts I used to do, just me talking about what I'm feeling etc. Goodie for you guys. Anyway this week, I'm going to talk about pressure, and I know I've already spoke about this before (quite a while ago now) but I promise it will be different.
So lately at college, we have been editing our projects together. Having to meet a deadline that seems to approach quicker than anything. Which yes, includes a lot of pressure. However this isn't what I am talking about.
So even though these deadlines are approaching, so is the end of the year (for college, Obviously). I got a reminder that the course was coming to an end and honestly, I panicked inside.
Firstly, I love my course, people, tutor and what we learn. So to be half way through the year upsets me.
But most of all, I have no idea as to what I am going to do when I finish. Do I get a job that I probably wont even like? Do the level up on the course I am doing? Do another course? I don't know.
I want to really experience college, so I wouldn't actually mind doing another year. But at the same time I would probably want to do a course which is 2 years. And I don't know if I want to wait that long before I leave.
I feel we all get pressured to know what we want to achieve. I know a few people who have their lives set out and cant wait for what is in store for them. And I do envy them. I would love to know what I am good at and what job would help me embrace the 'talent'.
However, I don't feel as though I have anything. I don't have something I am passionate about (except this blog of course). This scares the crap out of me. Some girls my age love kids and want to do childcare, some love fashion or beauty, some love music and everything else that's out there.
Me? Not much. I have no idea what the heck I am doing or what suits me.
Some days I will do something say, like pose into the kitchen because I love my outfit. And I will say 'Oh I should be a model' - obviously joking.. Sometimes it will be a news reader or something bizarre. But I never really mean what I say.
I personally take everyday as it comes because that's what I think you should do. You cant really predict what is going to happen...as we all know. However now, I'm starting to think that is a bad way to live because I have no idea what to do.
I am just rambling now I guess, but this is something that I have been wanting to write about all week so here it is! If any of you feel the same please let me know. I feel like the only one who doesn't know what she wants to achieve.
I guess that's all for this post, maybe next week I will do a similar one or it might be a book review which is exciting!