As always before I get into the post HERE is a link to my last post where I spoke about my Love Island predictions. And can I just say, it finishes tomorrow and I am definitely not emotionally ready. Anyone else?
As you can tell from the title of this blog post, I tried something new recently.
On Friday my friend, Hannah, suggested to me that I should go camping with her and her 'explorer' group. Immediately I rejected. That is two new things that I, for certain, knew that I'd have to face - Camping and new people. My dad even joined in trying to persuade me to go. Don't get me wrong, I thought about it. I have wanted to try camping for a while now but when they're new things involved I really think about my decision.
I eventually had to tell her that I would think about it because she wasn't going to stop going on about it. I did think about it a little.
However on Saturday I had a bad day. Not drastic but I was stressed, anxious and felt very 'small' (that's the only word I'd use). First off I had a dream where I put petrol in my car, but as it was my first time I was a little nervous, making sure to ask my dad if everything was okay and he didn't respond. Making me panic - because of the whole 'if you put the wrong petrol in you could ruin your car' kinda thing.
My mum, bless her, shouted me asking if I wanted cheese on toast for breakfast which obviously awoke me. Boy did I snap. I don't like getting up as it is but I was so stressed from my dream that I woke up in the same state of mind. I have never experienced this before but now I get why people hate their partners when they dream they cheated. I get it.
When I finally got out of bed and got dressed, I realised that my chest hurt a little, like I had been scratched. So I look, turns out my favourite bra had betrayed me. The wire had poked out and scratched me as I put it on. God damn bras...
I soon got over that because getting a new bra is pretty cool. It makes you feel good. I'm sure all of you women out there know what I'm talking about. But I also noticed that my Psoriasis was already flaring up, just from that.
I got downstairs and apologised to my mum and explained my dream to her. She was cool about it, probably used to the fact that I don't like getting up inn a morning. But then I had to chose to either wait in for a family member that I don't really know or interact with or to drive my sister down to work and feed her dog. I obviously chose to drive, for one I love driving and two, I wasn't feeling human interaction that day and didn't really want to 'pretend' to enjoy it. But yes, I go and everything is okay. I even snuggled with the dog and then came home. Or I tried to. There was a car in my normal parking space. I panicked. A car behind me was not being patient so I went round the block and pulled up at the bottom of my road. I call my mum basically as stressed as I've ever been on the edge of balling my eyes out. In the end I had to park half on the pavement and near a corner which I HATE doing. I walk in the house and the family member is about leaving.
So I basically panicked again and brushed past him asking how he was and went into the kitchen and yes, balled my eyes out.
All these little things just made me have a meltdown but I soon got over it. I convinced my mum to drive down to get me some new bras. Turns out, they didn't have any I liked and the ones I did, they didn't have my size. So it kinda just slowly kept going downhill.
You ask why is this relevant? Well because then I get a message from Hannah 'Are you coming?'. I tried to reject but she is a very persistent person. She rang me when I got home trying for the final time for me to go and at this point I knew I'd regret not going and I would be more annoyed at myself. I decided to flip a coin and it landed on me going. So I was going.
I can honestly say I am glad I eventually got over myself and went.
Despite it being hella awkward with everyone, I enjoyed it. It was raining through the night and t sounded beautiful on the tent. I loved it. I could happily fall asleep to that each night. Late in the day I actually helped with the car show (that was the point of going camping, to help at a car show). I must've woken in a better mood because I eventually happily spoke to people that I didn't know. They asked where the entrance and exit were and I already knew the answer because Hannah had been doing it all morning, which made it easier. At one point I had to help park cars on my own because Hannah had to sort something out and a bunch of cars came at once. But I did it. And I did it right! I was actually quite proud of myself.
So if you take anything from this long-ass post, try something new that you are afraid of. I did (thanks to Hannah) and I ended up enjoying it.