I hope you are all well.
I know most of you would've gone back to school/sixth form this past week, so I hope it hasn't been to hard to get back into the swing of things.
Tomorrow I go back to college and honestly, I am absolutely dreading it. This time last year I was so ready to move on up to college. I was happy with the course and the people I had already met from induction. However this year isn't the same. I am really not feeling it. I have chosen to do Art this year as I like to draw/paint/craft whatever. But I think I made the wrong decision.
Now I don't even know how to go about it. I kind of want to do something more. I mean I know obviously it does take a lot of effort to do art and that but I'm not sure I would want to do art as a full time job. I am stressing so much. And I seem to be the only one, everyone is just getting on with it, knowing what they want and such. Whereas I have no bloody clue.
I thought about becoming a nurse or something surrounding that but isn't it too late now? I probably would have needed sixth form or something (honestly not really researched this) so I would be a year late. And honestly, I never 'loved' the school schedule or setting so I would hate it. I have no idea as to what I want or even how I would get there. I don't want to waste a year at college if I don't think it will impact my future. If I don't get on with art I would either try and do level 3 creative media (following on from last year), maybe makeup or get an apprenticeship. I might look good in overalls, maybe I'll become an engineer.
Despite feeling like my head is going to explode, On Friday I went into town with my sister. I really enjoyed it. It was like I was actually an adult going shopping with my sister. Not just being the annoying tag along. I saved up my points on subway so I could treat Samantha, as she doesn't really have chance to eat there. It was just such a lovely day, so thank you Samantha, if you're reading this.
Obviously I bought something. Okay, maybe a couple of things. Compared to normal, I actually didn't spend as much as I normally would, so its nice to know my bank account isn't crying.
I bought two things from New Look. A pink wrap style top, and a Khaki cap. I actually am on the hunt for lots of new clothes, as all of a sudden I don't feel comfortable in the current clothes I own. Either that or they're just not my style anymore. I will include pictures.
This is the best I could do. (Sorry)
Friday was a nice distraction from stress but it all came back when I got home, and it hasn't really stopped yet. Hopefully next weeks post will be a bit more positive. Fingers crossed. I hope you guys have a great week whether you're in education or employed, whatever.
If you want to check out my last #BeautiesOnFire post on 'Villains' click HERE.
Adios amigos!xo
I'm sorry to hear you've not been feeling too chipper, I hope things get better soon and you're able to figure out what you want to do. If it helps, there's barely anybody who actually really knows what they want to do, I still don't and I'm mid twenties, but we're still young. I did three years at college for something I'm never going to use, although I'll never regret it because whilst I won't use it professionally it's something that's opened my eyes to different things generally. It's completely okay to not know what you want to do yet, focus on the here and now and what currently makes you happy. We don't need to have all of the answers! P.S, you really suit that cap, you pull it off so well! Take care sweetie! <3
ReplyDeleteYou are so lovely! Thank you so much. And I feel better now, a lot less stressed. So far the course is amazing and nothing like I thought It was going to be. And I guess you're right, college helps with other things as well as a qualification, but things like confidence which I can already see an improvement on! Thank you so much though, you have no idea how much that comment means to me. Thankyou, I hardly take off the cap haha! <3
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